People who suffer from intense migraines often have poor personal boundaries. You don’t know when to say ‘Yes’ and when to say ‘No’. You often end up saying Yes when actually you want to say No. You end up in conflicting circumstances that you cannot escape from. You ask yourself “should I stay or should I go?” You sabotage your ability to express clear boundaries; this makes you feel resentful toward yourself, your circumstances and the people who are taking advantage of you.
You often overwhelm yourself by having too much to do. You have many unspoken words; there seems to be a need to be heard and to be acknowledged. The migraine often benefits you because it allows you to say No and express your boundaries. The migraine can sometimes be used as an excuse to get out of situations where you would have given in, instead of listening to your gut instinct.
Even though the migraine is unpleasant, an important question to ask is “What would you have to do or deal with if the migraine stopped?” Sometimes the answer could be “...then I would not have enough time for myself”; you would have to face a problem or conflict that you are avoiding; you would have to deal with circumstances that make you feel out of control.
Another question to ask is “what am I trying to push out of my life?” You are stuck in circumstances where you have suppressed the ability to stand strong within yourself. You feel under tremendous stress to perform and please others. You often get involved in situations that are neither your responsibility nor your problem to begin with. Your need to save, help or rescue others is a priority. This pattern gets the better of you and you end up pulling the short end of the rope. This only makes you feel bitter, unsupported, angry or resentful. You are placing yourself under tremendous stress and pressure.
You experienced a great deal of pressure and high expectations during childhood. You often feel irritated and frustrated by everything and everyone. All of your problems are magnified and seem bigger than life itself.
- What conflict do you have in your current life? How does that make you feel?
- When did the migraine start? What was happening in your life just before the migraine began?
- Place your hand where the migraine is and try to feel what the block is.
- How does it benefit you to prioritise other peoples’ needs before yours? Do you believe that the more you give, the more you are loved? This comes from a childhood where you were only rewarded with attention/ affection when you would do things for the parent/teacher/caretaker.
- Explore trauma such as feeling stuck, powerless or out of control in your life or childhood.
- Do people respect your boundaries when you say No? If not, how does that make you feel? Explore further.
- What in your life has consumed your energy and ability to cope?
- Self-created pressure: why do you place yourself under so much pressure? Is someone else putting a lot of pressure on you? Explore.
This excerpt was taken from the book Metaphysical Anatomy by Evette Rose.