Fighting with the self over what can never be is fruitless; it only serves to create more inner conflict. It helps to view your emotions like passing clouds - always changing and moving through the world at different speeds, creating differing weather patterns as they do so.
A holier-than-though approach does not assume responsibility; do not wait for your sky to be so full of clouds that only a major storm can wash them away. Start again with the blue sky and notice each wisp that wanders across it, and when a bigger cloud comes along and creates a feeling within you, ask your mental self how you would like to deal with this in a way that's aligned with your true self, so the cloud keeps moving and do not create a blockage for the storm to gather behind. And when the wind is as soft as a breath, then you must breathe more consciously to keep those clouds moving along.
The unison of physical and mental effort keeps your vital force strong enough to have flow in your life. With this constant steady flow, you will notice that many things that revolve around drama cease to have relevance in your life, and as the observer, you notice there are only choices - choices of what to keep and what to let go of. Less resistance equals more flow, and a gentle meandering between life's obstacles. Fortunes may change but not nearly as much as energies.
Do not become attached to outcomes for that will be your undoing; an expectation is an emotional investment that is difficult to recall once spent, and yet it never had a target beyond that which you imagined or hoped for. Do not build castles out of dreams that vaporise; know instead what your values are, and align your reality with them, because they are the mortar of your foundations and give you the stability you seek. You do not have to share them with anyone for them to be valid - just knowing them for yourself is enough.
Make friends with yourself; love yourself and create that which you desire from others within your own heart.
Fallibility is a human trait so do not judge harshly for what you yourself have been guilty of. Just change direction as you need to, and allow others to do the same. One more thing - be at peace within yourself - watch how you talk about yourself so that you nurture your being and neither need nor expect others to do it for you. Invest in yourself and you will encourage others to do so with good grace.